post 9: A mother mourns a thousand deaths…and finds oneness.
As a mother or father, whether it be of a child or an animal, we mourn imminent or imagined death a thousand times.
Before reading A Course In Miracles, I did not understand what an important experience this can be for us.
Before, it was a test of the Ego to make sure I was still in its grip of fear, tied into the pain and sorrow that it makes us think is an undeniable part of our human experience. A test that I passed again and again with flying colors.
After reading ACIM, this spell of the Ego was broken.
I am now able to see the true gift of light that these moments of imagined loss can give to me, the realization of oneness and the comfort that this brings.
Now as I feel that wellspring of emotion come roaring up, ready to engulf me in its abyss of powerlessness and sorrow, I have another realization come to mind.
I remember who I really am as One in eternal Spirit, and from this I realize an infinite depth of trust in a God who would not will pain and sorrow for me, not even for a second.
These experiences are no longer a chance for the Ego to build more walls of fear inside of me. They are an opportunity for me to take more of the Ego walls down, and begin to rely on the ever-present support and unconditional love of God.
I look upon my child through tears of agonizing fear of losing her. And then I ask for help…Holy Spirit is there, my Higher Self drawing me in deep to a place where I have begun to uncover the truth.
I whisper to my child as much as to myself that she is one with me; that we can never truly part; we are safe and secure in the loving embrace of God Himself for eternity. And I know, really know, that nothing that could ever happen in this life can truly take her from me or me from her.
We are One, we are One, we are One. Allelujah.
Choose to look through the eyes of Spirit Now.
Choose Spirit Now.