Post #99: Rising Above the Blame Game

Have you ever found yourself caught in the blame game? Deflecting your hand in the matter attempting to avoid the guilt and shame that comes from making a mistake?

For the past few weeks my husband has been struggling with a major issue at his work. He is someone who I learn from everyday in terms of how to be present with others.

Because of his ability to be present I am watching him handle this huge issue with calm. This is allowing him to try to “fix” the issue rather than jumping in the blame game and trying to pin the issue on someone else so that he can wash his hands of it. 

It’s made me think of all the times I’ve been in a situation and something has gone wrong. It’s easy to watch as people scurry around not wanting to take the blame themselves. We like to pin it on others either by verbally blaming them or through silence by not taking up for the people who are being blamed. 

But what if, instead, we take a deep breath, face the fact that no one likes to make mistakes, and then go from there. I have yet to meet a perfect person. So we all know that we all make mistakes sometimes. No we don’t like to make mistakes. But if we can let go of berating ourselves for them, then we can slow down in the thick of a really big “uh-oh” and have the presence to figure out how to fix it rather than jumping into the blame game. 

So take a moment to think about any instances lately in your life, whether they might be with your partner, your parent, your child, your co-worker or boss, and notice if there are any circumstances in which you have seen this pattern play out. 

This is about you, so don’t get caught up in racking up all the ways everyone else has been getting caught in the blame game. I want you to dig deep and face any times in which you have noticed yourself getting caught in this trap. Go easy on yourself. We all do it from time to time.

Simply forgive yourself for allowing the ego to take charge. Next time something like this happens, take a deep breath and stay present so that you can come up with real-workable solutions rather than get stuck in the blame.

It won’t always be easy. There may be times where it seems like everyone is circling around, stoning you to death with blame and eye rolls. But if you stay strong and don’t give in, breathe deep, dedicate your self to a solution and not to blame, a “miracle” will happen. Peace of mind will come and your higher self will innundate you with solutions.

Each time we choose to NOT get sucked into our ego and the blame & shame it likes to dole out to ourself or others, the soul-self shines through and helps us out.

If you have difficulty then take time for more yoga practices that will cultivate witness consciousness and allow you to make a different choice next time.

This week, try this 12-minute intense hip opener yoga vignette to stay present, shift into witness consciousness, and make a different choice. 

Remember, you are a force for good in the world. The more consistent you get with these practices the more your life will become guided, sacred, and filled with meaning. You cannot help but then extend deep peace, joy, and contentment to your loved ones, friends, and everyone you meet. The world could use more of this, so let’s get you in the best space to make it happen.